Where'd You Go?

I do not understand how tomorrow could be October 1.  Where did the year go?  More importantly, why is my maternity leave passing so quickly?  I don't think I'm ready for this.  The funny thing is that, I'm almost ready to go to back to work.  I miss my coworkers {some of them}, and having adult conversations.  I do not, however, miss the commute, the early wake up time, or being away from my babies for more hours than I'm with them.  Those parts suck.

The time has passed much too quickly.  I will miss sleeping in.  I will miss cuddles with my Little Miss.  I will miss spending time with Micah Man.  I blogged about going back to work at the end of my maternity leave with Micah here. I have pretty much the same feelings, except my babies will be going to my aunt's house, instead of Granny's.  And there she'll spoil them and love on them the same way I would.  And again, I'll have to wait until after office hours for my turn.  The thought makes me sad.

On a brighter note, October brings the start of the holiday season.  I'll dress my babies up for Halloween, even if we have no intentions of trick-or-treating.  The plan is the same as last year.  We'll be at home passing out candy.  Next is Micah's birthday bash, which we are in the process of planning right now.  I'm pretty excited about the whole shebang, even if Micah doesn't really understand. Then we will wait anxiously for Thanksgiving, when we'll eat way too much food and spend an awesome time with our family.  Finally, Christmas will be here.  Once again, we'll eat entirely too much food, and enjoy family and friends.  We'll also celebrate the birth of Christ our Savior, and give each other gifts.  I can't wait!  So while, I'm not looking forward to going back to work, I am looking forward to the holidays.  And going back to work means I'll be able to afford to celebrate all those holidays that I'm so looking forward to.

Rocking Her Jeans

Corrin and I got dressed yesterday.  We are usually in the house unless we have a doctor's appointment or something else important to do, so we don't always make the effort to actually put on an actual outfit.  Pajamas/Lounge wear {for me} and onesies {for Corrin} are so much more comfortable.  She wore her first pair of jeans, thanks to Auntie Mecie and Sierra.

Micah's Wardrobe

We started shopping for Micah's cool weather wardrobe.  He's outgrown most of his clothes from last fall and winter. Seriously, he has two pairs of pants that still fit. That's it. No shirts, and he's outgrowing his shoes. Here's a few things we picked up for him recently.  All of this is from Wal-Mart, and he'll be using these for play clothes mostly.  They have some cute stuff, and the prices are great for the use Micah will get out of them.  You can't beat less than $4.00 per item.

We realized later that the white shirt is a girl's shirt.  It's since been gifted to Sierra.

Angelo has these same pj's.  I love them.

There you have the beginnings of his fall/winter clothes.  We still have to purchase new shoes, and shop a few other stores for more clothes.  I'll let you know if we find anything cute.

Happy Birthday Pal!

I would like to wish a very happy birthday to my nephew, Pal!  I hope your day is full of every wonderful thing your heart could desire.

Wordless Wednesday {Potty Master}

*****

Happy Birthday Auntie Vita!

Corrin: Three Weeks

Corrin has been wanting to eat all the time.  Actually, she usually wants to eat all night.  I think she's going through a growth spurt, and I'm not sure I can keep up. 

Nursery Inspiration Board

I have an idea of the way I would like Corrin's nursery to look when it is complete.  The finished nursery is so beautiful in my mind.  The reality is that we can't afford exactly what I want right now.  There's also the fact that even if we could afford it, I wouldn't spend that much in a nursery anyway.  So here's an inspiration board for Corrin's nursery.  We'll see if it actually turns out this way.  More than likely, you'll be able to see the inspiration in the nursery, but the exact same items won't be used.

Due Date

Today was to have been the day of your birth.  Your due date.  I knew from the beginning that we wouldn't make it this far.  You've been in my arms for 19 days now, and I've loved everyday.

More Visitors!

We had more visitors this weekend.  These visitors, however, were expected.  Mimi, Auntie Angel, and Angelo came to visit.  We didn't do much, but the weekend was fun.  Angelo is a character.  He's into EVERYTHING! And he takes catnaps.  I don't think he took a nap that was longer twenty minutes long all weekend.  He makes me tired just watching him.  I didn't take many pictures, as I was enjoying spending time with them, but I do have a few.

Waiting for Mimi

Cake for Mikey

Kisses for Mimi

It was fun, but I was sad to see them leave.

*****

In other news, our air conditioner chose this weekend to decide to act up.  It's blowing air.  The problem is that the air is not cool.  I've learned some things this weekend.  Corrin does not like to be hot.  I do not like the idea of having to pay for the air conditioner to be fixed.  I love my family.

Fall Fun! 2012

Fall is here!  Cooler weather, warmer clothes, family snuggles, and lots of things to do.

Actually, as I was typing this blog post, I was asking myself, "Why am I even bothering?"  Usually, we accomplish one or two things on our seasonal lists. I always start with the best of intentions, but life and circumstances usually interfere with completing the list.  I am hoping that we accomplish a lot more on this list.  I already have some plans in place for a few.

• Tailgate and/or go to a football game
• Dress for Halloween
• Visit a pumpkin patch and/or apple orchard info or info 
• Create a Thankful Jar for November
• Visit a Corn Maze  info or info  
• Play in the leaves
• Visit Zoo Atlanta  info
• Visit the fair  info
• Go to Pig Pickin

Happy Birthday Daddy!

We wish you many more to come.

Mikey is 28 years young today.  He loves to remind me that I will always be older than him.  We love you Daddy.

Happy Birthday!

Imitations of Life

I still plan to do a post on my progress with breastfeeding.  I think we're doing well.  The only issue I have right now is that Corrin chooses sleep over eating sometimes.  When she is choosing sleep over eating, I try to wake her, but she rarely latches on in those cases.  If she will latch on, she only eats enough to curb the hunger pains, then she goes right back to sleep.  Then when she's hungry enough to wake up and actually eat, I'm engorged, and the milk lets down too quickly, which frustrates her and me.  I'm still trying to figure it out.  I am also working on building my supply so that I can have a stash for her when I go back to work.  

Anyway, the real purpose of this post...

So happy.

I wonder if I look like this as I am pumping.

Micah is really into imitating Mikey and I lately.  This morning as I was pumping, he decided that he needed a turn.  Of course, I grabbed the camera and obliged him.  I love this little boy.

Baby Factory Closed

I know this is a rambling hot mess, but it's been on my mind, and I wanted to get it out.

Throughout my pregnancy with Corrin, once we found out she was a girl, people would say, "Oh, that's nice.  A boy and a girl.  Now you're done!"  If not those exact words, then some variation of that statement.  I would always do the smile and nod in response.  The problem is that I never felt like my family would be complete with only two children.  I always envisioned at least three babies, and wanted more than that.

Right now, it looks like that vision is over.  Hearing from my doctor the way my body healed after my first c-section caused Mikey and I some concern.  {Read about it HERE.}  While my doctor did all that she could do to insure that my body heals better from this c-section, she can't guarantee that everything will be okay if we do decide to have another baby.  She also reiterated how happy she was that it wasn't an emergency c-section.  If that had been the case, she says she probably would have sliced right through my bladder trying to get to Corrin.  I know that the Lord was guiding her hand as she did this surgery.  She could have still sliced through my bladder even though it wasn't an emergency situation.

The question that Mikey and I asked ourselves was, "Are we willing to risk my health to have a larger family?"  For the record, Mikey has said since we found out we were pregnant that if this was a girl, we were done.  I am the one who held out hope for a larger family.   The answer was a resounding NO.  We are not willing to risk that I won't be here to help raise our children or that he will have to raise them alone.  We are also not willing to risk another surgery with the chance that my organs will have attached themselves to each other again.  The next time could be so much worse.  {I also know that I could be worried about nothing.}  So it looks like the Giles family baby factory is closed for business.

Most days, the thought that I will never carry another little life within myself make me want to cry.  Other days, I try not to think about it at all.  Corrin's pregnancy was more difficult than Micah's, but there were still things that I love about being pregnant.  I love the bond with baby.  I love feeling the first fluttering kicks, and figuring out baby's schedule.  I love my big round belly.  My belly is always the first thing that I miss about pregnancy.  While I do not like the uncomfortableness, the aches, and the insomnia, I feel like the good outweighed the bad.

Okay.  Enough with the self-pity.  I'll try to post something happy later today.

Wordless Wednesday {Spiderman}

Corrin: Two Weeks

And then she decided she was done...

And when that didn't work, she was really done.

At two weeks old, Corrin is still sleeping most of the time. She's actually more interested in sleeping than eating most of the time.  She has a preference for her mommy.  I think it's my scent.  She recognizes my voice.  Micah can be in here screaming and jumping around, and she won't flinch.  If I speak too loudly, she wakes right up, looking for me.  She is eating very well, when she will wake up.  We've survived two weeks together.

Being Monitored

You can see the black and white leads in this picture.

Corrin came home with a little something attached.  A monitor that keeps track of her breathing and her heart rate.  The NICU doctor was concerned because there was no cause for the apnea that she had at birth.  She was full term, and according to my doctor, African-American female infants are, statistically, the strongest babies.  In short, Corrin's apnea was not typical, and very much not expected.  The plan at her release from NICU was to take her home with the monitor, breastfeed exclusively, and for Mikey and I to have CPR training.  

In the time since we have been home, Corrin's monitor has alarmed three times.  The first time was due to user error.  I hadn't placed the monitor correctly, and the alarm sounded because it had shifted.  The second time was also my fault.  I was moving her around during the night, and shifted the monitor.  The third time the monitor's alarm sounded scared some years off my life. 

Corrin stopped breathing.  When the alarm sounded, it was about 5:00 am.  It woke Mikey and I up out of a sound sleep.  I tried to rouse Corrin, then I took her out of swaddle, and tried again.  She started breathing rhythmically again.  I watched her for about an hour and a half before I could even think of going to sleep again.  Even now, days later, I am having trouble falling asleep at night, because I am so focused on listening for her to take breaths. 

When we first came home with the monitor, I wasn't really convinced that we needed it.  After that night, I am grateful that we have it.   I also worry, because we do not know why Corrin has apnea.  I have come up with all kinds of reasons that make sense in my head, but we really don't know.  I have noticed that when Corrin is really comfortable she tends to breath more slowly. Also the swaddle tends to make her very comfortable, so we have stopped swaddling her for now. 

Here is what the monitor looks like...

 

via

The monitor tracks Corrin's respiration and heart rate.  If she stops breathing or her heart rate is too fast or too slow, the monitor will alarm.  It will then remain lit up to let you know why it alarmed until you reset it.  We don't know how long she will require the monitor.  Corrin's pediatrician informed us at her first appointment that she likes to see at least two or three clear readings from the monitor before she will recommend removing the monitor.  We are being monitored, and I am finding that I am okay with that.

They Look Like Who?

I was talking to my grandmother on the phone, and she told me that she thought Corrin looked like me as an infant.  That made me wonder, so I pulled out pictures of myself and Mikey as babies.  What do you think?

Mikey

Tasha

Micah

Corrin

I'm not sure, but I think Mikey wins.  I have accepted that I was only the carrier.  These babies look just like their father.

Our Weekend

Saturday, we got an unexpected visitor.  The doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was Uncle Monkey! 

Corrin was unimpressed.

But allowed Uncle Monkey to hold her while she slept.

Micah posed as sweetly as possible.  I think he was hoping Corrin was leaving with Uncle Monkey.

*****

In other news...

This body gave birth to a baby approximately 12 days ago.  It is my intention to get into shape when I am released by my doctor.  Now I just need a plan of action. 

What's Mine Is Yours

My mom brought a surprise when she came for Corrin's birth.  She had teased me back in the beginning of August with the surprise she had for me.  My aunt even said that it was blog-worthy.  Well, here I am, blogging about the surprise. 

Apparently, while hunting for something else, my mom ran across these.  They are a little dress and some tops that I wore as an infant.  Now Corrin will get to wear them also.  I hope they fit before it gets too cool.  And the little angel who will get to wear her mommy's clothes?  Here she is.

She's been sleeping for the past few days like she's stockpiling sleep for the winter.  Sometimes she won't even wake up to eat.  It's kind of disturbing.  It's also uncomfortable, since I'm nursing.  The pump has been getting more use than I would like.  She's a much more efficient nurser than the pump.  But that's a whole other post that I'll have to sit and write another time.  Back to all this sleeping.  I am worried that the other shoe is going to drop, and she'll wake up and have her nights and days mixed up.  I also know that the advise is to sleep while baby is sleeping, but I can't keep up with her.  I catch a nap while she's sleeping, wake up, and take another nap before she decides she'll wake up for an hour or so. I'm not complaining though.  I'm really not.  I know that in a week or so, I'll be begging her to take a nap.  Micah did the same thing.